The Kragthorpe Diaries III

Note #1: This is Steve Kragthorpe’s actual diary. We can’t control the fact that he has a sailor’s mouth and is misogynistic towards women. We can only love him for it.

Note #2: Previous, even less polished editions of The Kragthorpe Diaries can be found here and here.

Woah, woah, WOAH! Back the fuck up, holmes.

They tell me I’ve taken a top 10 program and made them irrelevant in 9 months. How the hell did that happen? I must’ve blacked out for about, say, the entire 2007 season. That’s what I get for eating nothing but ‘shrooms and Fruity Pebbles for 4 months.

Even Lee Corso couldn’t do that. When you think about, it’s pretty impressive. Hell, with our roster, even Greg Robinson could probably close his eyes and win 6 games. Not The Krag. The way I see it, if you’re going to fuck up, might as well fuck up right. And I fucked up right.

I mean, have you seen the steaming pile of shit I called a recruiting class? A bunch of 2 and 3 star nobodies. Most of them probably couldn’t find their dicks with both hands and a flash light. I’ve never even heard of half of them. Towards the end, we just started cold-calling high school coaches. Apparently, they sent the retarded kids. They probably don’t even know they have dicks.

Seriously, look at that list. Rock Keys? Shit, I just made him up. Used a name I saw in a porn a few years ago. Damn, what an awesome name – Rock Keys. One minute he was a pizza delivery guy, the next minute he was plowing half a sorority. To be honest with you, he’s my fucking hero. Plus he runs a 3.8 second 40 and has a 57 inch vertical, so he’s a helluva ballplayer. Ha, I said ballplayer, that’s funny.

At least he could find his dick.

9 Responses

  1. Rock Keys owns the Bedrock dealership where Fred Flinstone bought his car.

  2. Flintstone, sorry ’bout that.

  3. I read all of the article’s about the KRAG. I just want to thank Charley West for making my day. Those were fucking hilarious. I will never look at Krag the same.
    (make sure to click on all the links in this article)

  4. They want me to go to rehab, but I sat NO, NO, NO!

  5. Rock Keys? Hahahaha

  6. What about Rock Hoover? For those that listen to Mike and Mike (I rarely do as I feel they are both untalented wastes of oxygen) I believe that is/was Mark Schlereth’s name on some soap opera he was going to be on….Rock Keys, Rock Hoover, whatever.

  7. […] Kragthorpe has already been fired by November 22, which is good for us Louisville but bad for the Kragthorpe Diaries. And as for the trip to Pitt, is it really an away game when you control more than 50% of the […]

  8. […] #2: Previous, even less polished editions of The Kragthorpe Diaries can be found here, here, and […]

  9. […] #2: Previous, even less polished editions of The Kragthorpe Diaries can be found here, here, and […]

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