That’s Gonna Leave a Mark

Watching Noel Devine on Saturday made the eyes jump out of my skull. 

 

What Is That Smell?

Normally, West Virginia ships its trash to New Jersey but this Saturday the trash will be sent back our way as Rutgers visits Morgantown. The Schiano Knights are coming off a HUGE win against FCS opponent Morgan State. Now that is a win you can build your program around.

Rutgers has never won in Morgantown and look to continue that tradition by building on its 1-3 season record with a loss to the Mountaineers on Saturday. While I will not be in attendance I can picture the scene now.

Wavy lines and that doooodoooodooodooodooodooo noise….

Taking Your Temperature

Let’s play doctor for a minute. Not the middle school version, where you convinced a girl it would help her with science when all you really wanted to do was touch your first boob. Rather, I want to take your temperature about the rest of the season following a win.

Many of you have gotten a little hot under the collar discussing the coaching staff’s performance following two road defeats. A win at home will not cure your ills but it should improve your outlook. If it doesn’t, then you really need to head to a strip club and eat the lunch buffet.

OK, That Was 100% Decent

Decent win Saturday.

Think it was great?  Good?  Awesome?  Fucking spectacular?  A lot of Mountaineer fans did.  I didn’t.  Decent is as far as I will go.

We went out and executed everything pretty well Saturday.  The running game rolled up our once customary 300+ yards.  The passing game took just enough pressure off the running game.  No mistakes in special teams.  And our defense shut down Marshall, to the tune of 158 yards.  Not too shabby.

But then again, it was Marshall — a team we were favored over by two touchdowns and would have been favored by four had the first month of the season not happened.  Then, as if that wasn’t enough, the Thundering Herd decided to take a cyanide pill everytime they got the ball in a crucial situation.  A much less talented team handed us the game on a silver platter — hooray!

On Location???

Am I in Morgantown right now? Will I drink beer and fuck bitches this weekend? The answer to the second question is always yes.

Better Defensive Scheme Than The 3-3-5?

My guess is that opposing offenses won’t be so quick to attack us vertically if they were facing a wall of fecal gas. But that’s just me. Maybe Marshall likes the smell of shit, who knows.

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. – A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a patrolman.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and “passed gas loudly,” the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged.

Update: assault charges have been dropped. Defense obviously works.

[Original story: MSNBC]

Yeah, I Guess I’ll Go To The Game

…but only because there’s beer.

Seriously, this has what it has come to with me.  I don’t even really want to go.  The past few weeks as a fan have completely zapped me of any energy and enthusiasm I had towards this team and program.  And you can’t even call me a pessimist or a bandwagon-jumper.  Hell, I started a damn WVU blog — don’t think I’m a big fan?

I already know what’s going to happen, too.  We’re going to win by 14-17 points in completely uninspiring fashion, and I’m going to leave the stadium trying to figure out just how we’re going to beat awful Rutgers and Syracuse teams.  But I will be walking out of the stadium, which means I had to go into the stadium, which means I went to the game.

…but only because there’s beer.

Hump Day

Sorry it is late but boobs are boobs no matter what time of day. More hump after the jump.

Things That Make Me Want To Throw My Shoe

I will be wearing the above boat shoes on Saturday. If you are hit with one of them, I’m sorry, I have really bad aim. I have a feeling I will want to throw them at fans more than the football team or coaches. While I am upset with our football teams performance, I am just as pissed at our fan’s reaction to everything.

Nonsense and stupidity to follow…

Is Our Coach Retarded?

Over/Under: Coach Stewart and the SATs   1) Under 1000 2) Over 1000 View Results Make your own poll

[Thanks to MGoBlog for the only picture that would make me wish I was a Michigan fan. Just kidding. Fuck you.]

We Are…..Irrelevant!!

Sure, WVU has lost a few games recently but is there any real chance we get beat by Marshall? There is no chance in hell that happens. The coaching staff will gel with the players and call a game that will be a thing of beauty. Do I have any facts, stats, or proof?  Nope, just a belief that we can only go up from this point forward.  Final score, WVU 38 – West Virginia Junior College 10.

At least this year we won’t complain about Marshall pulling down our strength of schedule. Thanks again Joe for another easy W.

Let’s Be Realistic!

I’ve bitched a lot and will undoubtedly bitch some more but we can salvage a successful season. We can win 10 games, win the Big East Championship, and go to a BCS bowl. Don’t give up just yet. Don’t jump off the bandwaggon. Patrick White and the rest of the players deserve our support.

The players have improved and are prepared to win out. The coaches need to follow suit and stop being incompetent boobs. Coaches, stop being Stewpid and step up like your players.

Was It All A Bad Wet Dream?

After only a couple hours sleep, I woke up from the drug induced comma hoping that it was Thursday morning. Unfortunately, it is Friday and we are a sub .500 team. From the moment I stepped out of bed I have been shaking my head in disbelief. Did we really just get beat 17-14? We are supposed to win a 17-14 game, that is WVU’s famous score.

I still have not received much clarity of thought about what occurred last night. I’m angry, disappointed, embarrassed, and I feel bad for our players who left it all out on the field only to be done in by poor coaching. The players should not be ashamed of their performance last night. The coaches should have their tails tucked between their legs like a dog that shit on the new carpet.

Everybody Fucking Panic, Part Deux!!!!

How many times did we shoot ourselves in the foot during that game? My guess is at least 10-15. Penalties, stupid-predictable-fan-influenced play calls, and poor tackling.

I have so many thoughts running through my head right now that I can’t get them all out to write a logical post. I know, I know whats new. Here are a few random thoughts but expect more tomorrow.

HCBS Interview

Extra, extra, read all about it. WBGV has an exclusive fake interview with HCBS. Charley and I were flown out to Colorado on the WVU jet to ask these probing and well thought out questions. We got some juicy information.