SmokingMusket.com is LIVE!

Please, direct your browsers to the new site…

http://www.smokingmusket.com

These Ladies Give Me Hand Cramps

These are my favorite women.

Best of WBGV: Hump Day: NFL Cheerleaders Edition

This was our most popular hump day post ever. Who the hell cares when it originally ran, but there are more to come. You can also expect an original hump day towards the end of the day that I think everyone will enjoy.

I spent about 20 minutes trying to come up with a good connection between WBGV, hump day, and NFL cheerleaders. After awhile, the bulge in my pants simply became too unbearable and I gave up.

Best Of WBGV: I’m Gonna Come At You Like A Spider Monkey!

Note: This piece originally ran on January, 4, 2008, after our amazing bowl win against Oklahoma. The fact that I still believe almost every word of this probably makes a lot of you very mad. BITE ME

When I got a text around 5:30 a.m. yesterday morning stating that Head Coach Bill Stewart, “HCBS”, got the job I was asleep. When I woke up and could fully comprehend what this meant, I smacked myself in the forehead. The initial reaction was, “Are Garrison and Pastilong on their periods?” Because this seemed like an emotional hire that didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

While I may be known for flipping out, about once every hour, I decided to stop and really think about HCBS. It was a hell of a game but can he get it done for an entire season? Does he have enough experience and wherewithal to handle everything being a head coach at a big school entails? Why was his record so bad at VMI?

Allow Myself To Introduce….Myself

Usually, when there’s a lack of posts on this website, it’s merely us being lazy. Or hungover. Or both.

But this time, we have a legitimate excuse. Over the past few months, we have been working on starting a new chapter in our blog lives. That work, along with countless hours from the guys over at SBNation, have given us a new and improved blog about Mountaineer sports. A blog so good, we hope, that it deserves a new name:

The Smoking Musket.

The new platform will allow us a lot more options as far as providing the best (and lewdest) content of Mountaineer shenanigans on the internet. More live blogs, better recruiting updates, and a better organization — not to mention more poon — should make you, the readers, happy campers.

While the site won’t be operational for another week, we wanted to go ahead and build momentum into the move so we hit the ground running on Monday. For the rest of this week, we’ll be running the “Best of WBGV,” remembering fondly some of our best posts over the past 18 months. That will give us a chance to fine-tune the new site and blow y’all’s minds next Monday.

Get ready…

…and just because I love you guys…

[The new address will be http://www.smokingmusket.com .  No need to start transitioning your bookmarks yet, as it won't be active for another week.  And come next Monday, we'll link over from this site.  So again, no worries.]

Locked and Loaded

Like a sunrise over the mountains that burns off the morning fog to reveal West Virginia’s great beauty, the authors of this site will reveal something huge for Mountaineer fans everywhere on Monday morning.

Prepare yourself…

Insert UConn Pun Here

No, UConn not.  Yes, UConn.  UConn do it.  We get it headline writers, UConn sounds very similar to “you can.”  Very clever. 

Anyway you put it though, your 22nd ranked West Virginia Mountaineers play host to cancer-prone Jim Calhoun and his Connecticut Huskies tonight.  May we beat them like rented mule.  Or a woman who talks.

“Tonight we play UConn.  Tonight, we beat UConn.” – Bud Kilmer

Who’s Got A Secret? It’s Victoria!

Get your supplies ready, this is going to be a hump day for the history books. Not only are we going to feature pictures of Victoria’s Secret models, WBGV has formed a one-time partnership with CBS to televise the Victoria Secret Fashion Show tonight at 10.

This is going to be a great day.

15 Years Ago Today….

It’s a Celebration

 

Today is The 25314′s birthday, so you can imagine its going get pretty crazy tonight as long as I have hookers, blow, some ice cubes, a nine iron, and a buffalo – live or stuffed, preferably stuffed.

But what does a zip code who has everything even ask for on its birthday?  WVU football already has the best football coaches incompetence can buy, and I think it’s getting pretty clear that Pat White isn’t going to answer my letters to jump out of a cake as long as I keep writing them with glue and my own back hair.

FIRE JEFF MULLEN

Well, we haven’t been able to gain a yard in the power formation all year long so let’s do it again for this short yardage play. Great idea you idiot. He must go and must go now.

The offensive players never give up and have succeeded despite the coaching. Again, I feel sorry White has to be put through the nightmare of Jeff Mullen.

Night Game

It’s a special time, in a special place, it’s a night game in Morgantown. I will not be there so I will be watching an alright day of college games. Those of you not going to the game feel free to comment on the day in college football and post your thoughts during the game.

Let’s GOOOOOOOO Mountaineers!!

Pussy Cat Edition

In honor of adding LSU to the schedule, this Hump Day will be dedicated to girls of schools with Tigers as mascots. Since the University of Memphis does not seem to have any hot women I also threw in a couple of the ladies that played Catwoman.

Why Is Everybody Always Pickin On Us?

The state of West Virginia has to constantly ask the above question when it comes to commercialization of our perceived “incestuous-racist-hillbilly” way of life. Whether it is shirts at Abercrombie or films from Hollywood, they love to sell the fact that we are horrible people. People say, “Take a joke, relax, it was all in fun.” Yeah, big fucking joke, making an entire state look like a bunch of racist cocksuckers, HAHA.

This Friday, “The Express” opens in theaters nationwide and there is some drama brewing. The film, which is “based on a true story,” contains a scene based in Morgantown that is absolute fiction. In the scene, Ernie Davis and his teammates have racial slurs and garbage tossed at them when they play at Mountaineer Field in 1959.

The Opposite of Awesome

Limping Sobering news for a hump day, but it appears 5-star QB and WVU commitment Tajh Boyd has taken notice of WVU’s Offense (67th in yards, 80th in scoring…coincidentally, Tulsa is #1 in both with former WVU Defensive coordinator Todd Graham as their head coach and former WVU recruiting coordinator and TE’s coach Herb Hand as their co-offensive coordinator) and is now planning visits to Oregon, Tennessee, and Boston College. 

Meanwhile, Hampton (Va.) Phoebus quarterback Tajh Boyd isn’t saying it publicly, but he’s looking at other schools. Boyd is a West Virginia commitment and has a great relationship with Mountaineers assistant Chris Beatty. However, Boyd is considering official visits to Tennessee, Boston College and possibly Oregon. Boyd took his official visit to West Virginia a weekend ago along with fellow four-star commitment Logan Heastie, but he has concerns about the offense.

Tennessee is back in the market for a quarterback after the de-commitment of Josh Nunes. Boston College is looking for two quarterbacks in this class and has no quarterback commitments. Oregon might be too far away, but Boyd likes coordinator Chip Kelly and his offense.

As of right now, he is still committed to West Virginia, but it’s worth keeping an eye on.  Or three.