Oh My!

Today was a great day of sports, especially college football. Upsets galore in college football, great baseball games with HUGE playoff implications, and the American’s played great in the President’s Cup (sorry to all you hockey fans who are pumped about the Kings big W in London but hockey sucks).

All these upsets are like solarcaine to the burn of getting beat last night. It helps because it means we won’t drop out of the top 15. All we need to do is take care of business the rest of the season and we should end up in a BCS game even if USF somehow wins the Big East.

At some point after the Cowboys game tomorrow I will realease release, “Things that made me want to throw my shoe.” I know you all cannot wait (it is good to end with a laugh).

Somtimes You Just Gotta Say What The Fuck!!

Strapping young man seeking woman for one night of comfort. Must be hot, skinny, and willing to be spanked.

I am still drunk from last night so this may not be the most coherent post ever but here are some thoughts from last nights embarrassing loss.

Steve Slaton touched the ball TWICE in the second half. With one Heisman candidate on the sidelines CRR basically benched our other Heisman candidate and did not give him a chance to carry us to victory. Now we have NO Heisman candidates.

Devine only got FOUR touches the entire game. If we are not going to get the ball to our playmakers we might as well get ready for Canada come December.

This gets me to my main complaint from last night and it is with CRR. Every time they showed him on the sidelines he was jumping around like CoCo the Monkey. This is not the way a coach should carry himself when his team is trying to make a come back.

Go back and watch the Louisville game from two years ago CRR was calm, cool, and collected on the sidelines. This led us to the greatest comeback in school history. Friday night CRR looked like a damn scared idiot and his play calling is one of the main reasons we got beat. Throw the bubble screens when they play back not when they are using press coverage — JACKASS.

We threw the ball 18 times in the first-half and 20 times in the second half. The difference was that we put it down the field in the second half where we were guaranteed some positive yardage. So to those of you who were yelling THROW THE BALL in the first half, SHUT UP, and realize you have no business talking football.

I’m going to be an asshole here but Mike Dent’s play at center is the main reason we lost this game. During the first half our offense had no timing. Pat White had to be ready for the snap to end up anywhere but in his chest.

This rushed the read option, the bubble screens, and just fucked the offense in the first half. He cost us a touchdown, two first downs, and caused two turnovers (one of which led to a USF touchdown).

All I can say is don’t give up on this team. I have faith in these kids and in CRR. We can turn this around, end up in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl, and drink ourselves into a stupor and just pretend we are playing for the National Championship.


T-Minus 2.5 Hours…

8 o’clock STILL can’t get here soon enough. To pass the time, I’ve had this photo professionally printed life-size and mounted it on my wall. For the next 2 and a half hours, I’ll be the one sitting and staring…and drinking. A lot. Probably an unhealthy amount. It happens.

On Location: Carter-Finley Stadium

Unfortunately, I will not be making the trip to Tampa this year. I will be at a football game, however, as I am taking in NC State-Louisville in Raleigh on Saturday afternoon. This should be a fantastic game between two of the worst teams in the country. But, it is my first chance to see The Krag up close and personal and from the upper deck, so it should be a good time.

By the way, 8:00 pm can’t get here soon enough. Go Mountaineers!

Ears Bleeding, Please Make Stop

Matt Grothe has his own website. If that wasn’t the funniest thing you’ve ever heard, Matt Grothe also has his own rap song. Sung by Bulls kicker/Special Olympian Delbert Alvarado. Hilarity ensues.

Welcome to MattGrothe.com, the Internet’s #1 source of news, information, and multimedia on University of South Florida sophomore quarterback Matt Grothe!

Fuck, I wonder what’s #2?

For my money, nothing gets you street cred in the rap game quite like missing 4 field goals in one half. And if that’s not enough, having the first name Delbert usually does it. Shit, with a name like that, you’re about 1000% more likely to be hung off a balcony by Suge Knight than have a hit track.

Two Heisman Hopefuls, Or None?

Unfortunately, and it pains me to say this, but one of these two is going to have to start to play badly for the other one to win the Heisman. Blasphemous? Hardly. Hear me out.

In the end, I think our season would be better served by neither winning the Heisman. They are both equally awesome players — maybe a slight edge to Pat White — and both steal a great deal of the others “stats.”

Think about it. When does Pat White’s Heisman stock go up? When Slaton has a tough game. And vice-versa. When they both dazzle, which is bound to happen more often than not, they’ll end up splitting votes.

You might bring up Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. Both won Heismans. Both played on the same team. Well, two things: 1) Steve Slaton is not Reggie Bush. That’s only a compliment to Bush, not a knock on Slaton. Bush was a highlight reel waiting to happen. Slaton is also a home-run hitter, but not in the same way; and 2) Leinart was Bush’s elder. When Leinart won, he was the sole leader of the Trojans. Sure, it was Bush’s breakout season, but it was still Leinart’s show.

At WVU, it’s both Pat’s and Steve’s show. They share it almost equally. My hope is that they both blow it up, split votes, finish 2nd and 3rd (or something like that) in the Heisman, and we go to the National Championship.

Then Devine wins it in 2009.