Al Gore’s Internet Sucks

The Internet has been down all morning and will continue to be down through the rest of the day at my office. We’re going ahead and calling this a lost day, but we will be back tomorrow.

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We Pause For A Moment

To bring this update on the basketball team…Andy Katz touches base with Huggins and the rest of the WVU basketball team in a nice preseason profile. You can find it here.

My favorite quote:

“He’s just on us all the time about crashing the boards,” Alexander said. “They never stop. I could rebound perfect all practice and miss one, one time, and then they’ll yell at me like I’ve never rebounded before in my life. It’s crazy. They’re just on you all the time, but it’s good for us.”

Oh brother, how I love that. We’ll be tackling more of the basketball team in the coming weeks. Buckle up.

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Things That Made Me Want To Throw My Shoe!

In all honesty, there should not be much to be upset about after the dismantling of Rutgers on Saturday. But I’m 5th Year Senior and I get pissed off about not being pissed off. Let the Dew rage begin…

WTAE in Pittsburgh let me ask you something. Who in the hell would want to watch Pitt v. Louisville instead of WVU v. Rutgers? Shit fans would rather watch our game. Because of its decision to show the Pitt game, I had to watch the WVU game without HD.

I feel sorry for those of you without HD cable, it is the best thing since Koozie’s. Once you have HD it is impossible to go back. To me it is like having sex without a condom and then having to go back to wearing those pleasure preventers.


Why in the hell does Stewart Street still get a fucking green light? The road is closed because of construction which means there is no damn traffic. If I have to wait one more time through that damn light I may go to city council and throw a shoe at Ron Justice.


Does Rutgers not believe in proper drainage? There were puddles of water on that damn field, which is just not acceptable.


Please God stop all future announcers from using the nickel/five and dime to describe White and Slaton. It makes my ears bleed and does not do them justice. Call them badass mother fucker (BAMF) and slayer.


Will someone please tell that kid in the Sportsmanship commercial that nobody will take him seriously if his pants are around his neck. Why is this kid trying to be a 90 year old retiree? Kid, you are 12 years old find some baggy pants, sag’em, and make your mom yell at you for walking on the cuffs.

I need to start taking some Bayer Aspirin because my heart is in trouble.
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Whores and Horses

This wonderful piece of prose was created over a year ago after Charley’s 4 day weekend in Louisville for the game. Good times…

Louisville sucks.

Not the team, but the school and the collection of greasy, STD-riddled, sluttastic “students” that attend the school.

Saturday night, I enjoyed a trip to what would be best described as a breeding ground for any and all communicable diseases. If Herpes ever mutates and becomes airborne, Fourth Street Live would be the scene of such a medical miracle.

The night started out well enough, with a pretty damn good dinner and damn good bourbon down the street at Maker’s Mark Bourbon House. Unfortunately, our next choice was a CDC laboratory disguised as a bar: Parrot Beach. To give you an idea of this hole, it was a combination of Bent Willey’s, Banana Joe’s, the Jersey Shore, Hell, and Kentucky. Unfortunately, Kentucky turns out to be the worst of these 5 ingredients.

Look, I like girls dancing on tables as much as the next guy, but I would prefer if those girls rated more than a negative 3 out of 10 on any man’s scale. And last time I checked, C-Section scars aren’t sexy. Louisville girls should keep that in mind next time they decide to wear a Kids-medium sized shirt.

And the guys, even worse. Unfortunately, the bathroom had an attendant, which meant everyone had a chance to put on cologne from his collection. That poor guy must have to restock that cologne every 20 minutes. I walked in and nearly passed out as one chach-ball dumped a whole bottle of Drakkar Noir on his chest. I’m sure his cousin Geno did the same thing.

And lastly, I heard a rumor that they’re taking the gold out of Fort Knox…apparently replacing it with a week’s supply of penicillin for the U of L student body. Trust me, they’ll need every drop. We should drop condoms on that school like we drop food on Afghanistan, just to make sure they don’t procreate.

So as you can see, I enjoyed my trip.
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Yes, Yes, a Thousand Times Yes

There aren’t really words to properly describe this footage of awesomeness. Sure, she’s OK, so we can laugh, but there was a good chance I would be laughing either way.

[With Leather]

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Well, despite Charley’s early claims, I do travel to games. (Note: Charley passed on going to this game because his tummy hurt. True story.) This weekend, I went into the eye of the storm. Literally. The whole drive up was nothing but rain, which as you might imagine-sucked.

Then came gameday. Pregame, the only thing nastier than the weather were the Rutgers dance and cheerleading squads. Yikes. The weather cleared up before kickoff, but was still pretty windy. That would not last. The skies opened. Not really sure when, but at that point it got a little primal. Coincidently, that’s the point in time that WVU just kicked it into overdrive and left the overmatched Scarlet Knights behind. It was sweet.

Obviously, the whole team played great. However, I want to mention the performance of Pat McAfee. He was great. From solid kickoffs to the big field goal before halftime, Pat was gigantic.

Some thoughts on Rutgers:

I went up to the game in 2005. Same weather as this game. This time, there were alot more Rutgers fans there. That’s a positive for the program and the Big East.

On the flip side, the program still has a ways to go. 40,000 seat stadium? Come on. No out of town scores. No stats. A sub par band. Long lines at bathrooms. Fellas, you aren’t going 3-8 anymore.

I don’t like Rutgers coach Greg Schiano, but respect him. However, it was GREAT to watch him throw off his headphones and start walking out onto the field before Rod made his move. He had his ass kicked enough.

Have fun again down at Houston, Rutgers.

Meanwhile, the good guys are gaining steam. I pity Louisville, Cincy, UConn and Pitt.

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Who’s In Your 5?

Kate Hudson

Marissa Miller

Heidi Klum

Carrie Underwood

Ashley Judd

This one is for you Amelia.

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