Surely he can’t be serious. Not even someone the strongest prescription of Prozac could be this cheery and upbeat. But yet, Chubb Small stands before us a regular sunflower of optimism.
Witness Chubb preach the 0-6 gospel, using Chuck Landon as his humble scribe:
TULSA, Okla. — Most 0-6 teams would be coming apart at the seams right about now.
There would be dissension here, pointing fingers there, giving up everywhere.
That’s what makes Marshall University so amazing.
Or bad at football. What’s really amazing is the alarming rate at which they’re losing football games.
Despite losing to Tulsa, 38-31, here Saturday for its sixth straight loss of the season, the winless Herd remains relentlessly upbeat and optimistic.
“That’s because we know we’re a good team,” said running back Chubb Small, after rushing for 53 yards on 11 carries and scoring a career-high two touchdowns. “We know if we band together, everything will come. You can’t get down because we’re losing. We’ll always be winners whether we’re 0-12 or 12-0.
“We can be winners at heart.”
Actually, dictionary.com defines winner as “one that wins, especially a victor in sports or a notably successful person.” So you can see, Chubb, you’re not winners. Not even close. You’re 0-6, which I’m pretty sure is exactly the opposite of being a winner. In fact, with the help of my online dictionary, loser is defined as “one that fails to win: the losers of the game.” See, that’s more like it. If you had to describe Marshall this season, wouldn’t “one that fails to win” work pretty well?
I thought so.
UPDATE: Which is worse: Marshall’s season or this guy’s career?