Touchdown! Finger Blasting!


Man, that headline has it all. And so do the pictures. Apparently, after UK had scored to go up 7-0 in the first quarter against Florida, the general rules of decorum were suspended briefly at Commonwealth Stadium.

Take it away, lucky Deadspin reader (only kinda NSFW):

Here’s the deal. 8:00 mark, 1st quarter, UK up a touchdown. Most people celebrate with high-fives and rocksplosions.

But the couple in front of me…not so much. They celebrate by straight up finger-banging. that’s how we roll in the bluegrass.

My girlfriend alerted me first of this hot public action. Then the chick to my left elbowed me pointing with disgust at the table-turning in the pants. (Apparently women can hear other women’s belt buckle coming undone.)

Then, basically, me and 32 others in the section watched with shock-and-awe for the next 3 minutes as this M.I.L.F. got her shit on.

Oh. Hell. Yes. I may be a lot of things, but I am most definitely a man that would unabashedly marvel at a girl getting fingered at a football game. I might would absolutely borrow an older gentleman’s binoculars just to get a better look. This is the best story of the year, by far.

At the same time, though, it makes me sad. There I was, busy checking things off my “Fucking Awesome Things To Do At A Football Game” list and now I have to add something to the bottom. Oh well, I’m still young.

[Deadspin]
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One Response

  1. Fingerbang
    Bang bang
    Fingerbang bang
    Bang bang bang
    I’m gunna fingerbang bang you into my life
    Girl, you like to fingerbang and it’s al-right
    Cuz I’m the king of fingerbang, let’s not fight
    I’ll just fingerbang, bang you every night

    (Cartman)
    And girl you know that you’re the only girl for me
    Girl
    Girl you’re the girl of my, fantasies
    You’re my girl you’re my girl, my, giiirl.
    Fingerbang!

    (All)
    Bang!
    (Cartman)
    Bang,
    (Stan)
    Bang,
    (Kyle)
    Bang!
    (All)
    Fingerbang bang
    Bang bang bang
    I’m gunna fingerbang bang you into my life
    Girl, you like to fingerbang and it’s alright
    Cuz I’m the king of fingerbang, let’s not fight
    I’ll just fingerbang bang you every night!

    Courtesy of South Park.

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