Rutgers Student Gameday Diary!


9:00 a.m. Why the fuck is it so loud outside, who is this skank beside me, and why the fuck am I wet? Oh shit, I pissed the bed again, “MAAAAA.” I’m at school my ma isn’t here…don’t cry think. This skank isn’t up yet so I’m going to roll her ass to the wet side and blame this on her.

9:15 Damn this girl is fat what was I thinking? Oh yeah, I can’t do any better than this I go to Rutgers. Hey skank wake up you pissed the bed. Get the hell out.

9:30 Shit dawg, we play those hillbillies from western Virginia today. Time to get ready

11:30 That didn’t take as long as I thought and I look good. All black today and I look good. I hope I put enough gel and hairspray in my hair to hold up to the rain. Someone get me a Heineken and a Red Bull.

11:31 I’m already fucking hammered drunk and ready to rage in that stadium. CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP

11:32 I’m so drunk I just threw up off the deck. When are we going to the club? Fuck, I meant stadium I’m so drunk I can’t even think straight.

12:15 GAME TIME BITCHES! I’m actually matching the team today that is sssuppperrr. CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP

12:30 I’m wetter now than I was this morning in my bed. We better score a touchdown soon or I’m going to be pissed. These rednecks are fast but we can chop wood.

12:35 Damn, they scored. Roid rage building.

12:57 Damn, they scored again. Roid rage building. We need to do something so I can use all the redneck jokes like are you married to your fuckin’ sister.

1:45 17 – 3 at half this sucks my left nut which is small because I do steroids but the fat chicks love muscle.

3:15 We just lost again to those fucking hillbillies and I can’t control the roid rage. I’m going to beat some mountaineers’ ass. Yo, sister fucker, fuck your momma or your wife whatever that fat cow is walking beside you. Let’s rumble!

4:30 Where am I? My head hurts and I’m bleeding. I just got knocked the fuck out!

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One Response

  1. Hilarious…I’ve been waiting for that all week. Sounds pretty accurate to me…next up, revenge on the Cards.

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