I hate to early-call this game, but things really don’t look good for Oregon right now. Their star quarterback is injured, they’re down 13, and the momentum is squarely on the side of Arizona. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like to cheer for any injury — unless it’s Marvin Graves — but Dixon going down has allowed Arizona to truly believe that they can win tonight. Plus, the priceless look on the Oregon fans faces will keep me warm tonight.
10:15 — Down 20. What has two thumbs and has Arizona +11.5? This guy!
10:45 — Well, if there was any doubt, we have now figured out that Oregon is a one-man show. Without Dixon, they look like a high school team.
As of right now, we are essentially the 3rd ranked team in the country. LSU is #1, the winner of the Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri derby is #2, and we are #3.
11:20 — Arizona girls are hot.
11:30 — Why is there an “R” before “Gronkowski” on the jersey? Are we going to mistake him for another Gronkowski on Arizona? Is that like Smith on that team?
11:50 — What a ridiculous play. I know when I gain 50 yards on a fake punt, the first thing I want to do is a flying somersault with the ball exposed. Great work guy.
12:05 — I have been silently praying for an Arizona win for the past 15 minutes. And by praying, I mean drinking.
12:15 — Shit. Fuck. Bitch. Wannstedt. Damn. 31-24 Arizona.
12:30 — Well, that was pretty lucky. Always nice when a fumble is overturned because your QB is so inept he can’t walk 2 yards without falling down.
12:35 — Please, please, please let that hold up.
12:45 — Ladies and gentlemen, that will do it. If you have a voodoo doll or you believe in any type of black magic, start doing your worst against LSU. We are the #3 team in the nation.