The Perfect Swarm


I hate to early-call this game, but things really don’t look good for Oregon right now. Their star quarterback is injured, they’re down 13, and the momentum is squarely on the side of Arizona. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like to cheer for any injury — unless it’s Marvin Graves — but Dixon going down has allowed Arizona to truly believe that they can win tonight. Plus, the priceless look on the Oregon fans faces will keep me warm tonight.

Bear Down!

UPDATE(S):

10:15 — Down 20. What has two thumbs and has Arizona +11.5? This guy!

10:45 — Well, if there was any doubt, we have now figured out that Oregon is a one-man show. Without Dixon, they look like a high school team.

As of right now, we are essentially the 3rd ranked team in the country. LSU is #1, the winner of the Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri derby is #2, and we are #3.

11:20 — Arizona girls are hot.

11:30 — Why is there an “R” before “Gronkowski” on the jersey? Are we going to mistake him for another Gronkowski on Arizona? Is that like Smith on that team?

11:50 — What a ridiculous play. I know when I gain 50 yards on a fake punt, the first thing I want to do is a flying somersault with the ball exposed. Great work guy.

12:05 — I have been silently praying for an Arizona win for the past 15 minutes. And by praying, I mean drinking.

12:15 — Shit. Fuck. Bitch. Wannstedt. Damn. 31-24 Arizona.

12:30 — Well, that was pretty lucky. Always nice when a fumble is overturned because your QB is so inept he can’t walk 2 yards without falling down.

12:35 — Please, please, please let that hold up.

12:45 — Ladies and gentlemen, that will do it. If you have a voodoo doll or you believe in any type of black magic, start doing your worst against LSU. We are the #3 team in the nation.

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10 Responses

  1. I got a haircut today and now Oregon is going to get beat. Could this day get any better?

    Bent Willey’s FOAM PARTY HELL YEAH!

  2. Foam parties are for guidos, but a nice little day you’ve had there.

    Let’s not count this as an Arizona W just yet. That Wildcat offense looks like they want to give this thing away.

    Holy shit do I want this to happen.

    Charley, nice choice on the bet by the way. Road games on Thursdays are a real bitch.

  3. Fowler just said WHORE. Big fumble!!!

  4. By the way, in case you wondering, Rob Gronkowski is the truth. Not quite as athletic as Shockey or Tony Gonzalez, but certainly more mobile than Heath Miller. I’m thinking Todd Heap.

  5. Heath Miller is good. I hate Todd Heap. Regardless, I’m terrified that Arizona finds a way to lose this. Not running the ball at all is opening the door. I know they suck at it, but they have to try…

  6. I never said Heath Miller wasn’t good, but he’s much more of a straight-line runner. Gronkowski looks to have more agility.

  7. I didn’t say you said he wasn’t good. I just said I like him.

    Please God let AZ win this!! I’m starting to doubt them.

  8. Also, Charley, I too hope you don’t get shot in Cincinnati. I’d have nothing to read.

  9. I’m just glad they’ve quit talking to Ryan Leaf. I’ve been sick for a week, and he just makes me want to puke more.
    Go cats.

  10. crap. fumble.

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