Huggy Bear Will Kill You

WVU plays St. John’s tonight at the Coliseum, and the Mountaineers look to extend their win streak against the Johnies to 7 games.  

Also, the WVU football team will be honored at halftime, in what, no doubt, will be an awesome ceremony, complete with F-bombs hurled at Rich Rodriguez.

 

These Johnnies are led by coach Norm Roberts (who?) and fowards, Justin Burrell (who?) and Anthony Mason, Jr. (who?)

I can only answer for Mason.  He is the less talented son of the former NBA 6th man, Anthony Mason, who once appeared in this Diamond D video.

Let’s face it, St. John’s is awful.  We’re a 16.5 point favorite.  These are not Lou Carnesecca’s and Chris Mullen’s Redmen.  These aren’t Felipe ‘the next Jordan’  (or marginal Nationals shortstop) Lopez’s Red Storm.  Or even Mike Jarvis’s mediocre Ron Artest teams. 

There won’t even be ‘Showtime’ Daryll Hill to display ridiculous moves while his team loses by 20.  However, St. John’s will lose by 20.  It’s innevitable.  St. John’s is 7-8 and 1-3 in the Big East.  They’ve lost to Niagra, Ohio, and Tulane. 

Here’s how it will go down.  At the beginning of the game, Joe Alexander won’t be able to driblle, because Joe Alexander can’t dribble.  He will catch the ball at the top of the key and stand still for about 5 seconds, and kill the offensive motion, because that’s what Joe Alexander does. 

He will then nail a couple 15 footers, and play well the rest of the way.

Jamie Smalligan will last no more than 3 minutes before he sits on the bench for all but 2 minutes the rest of the game.  As he sits, he will try unsuccessfully to grow hair.

Alex Ruoff will hit a three pointer and then look at the crowd for their approval.  He will then hit another three, and repeat.  And Darris Nichols will be solid, as always.

John Flowers, Joe Mazzula, and Wellington Smith (who’s father’s name is Winston…seriously) will all be solid coming off the bench, allowing WVU to have a 20 point lead with one minute to go.  Which will, in turn, allow Jarrett Brown to come off the bench to a standing ovation.

Who Knew?

The man who played the original Huggy Bear is Oakland Raiders RB, Justin Fargas’s father.  And who doesn’t love the name Fargas?, the name of bizzaro Newman on Seinfeld.

10 Responses

  1. Fuck Rich Rodriguez.

  2. Rich Rodriguez hates America

  3. Rich Rodriguez hates America

  4. Twice?

  5. I think twice is about right. He Really hates America. But we hate him too….

  6. […] some previews of tonight’s St. John’s vs West Virginia game here, here, here, and some haterade here, that makes me want to see the halftime show. Will WVU fans yell “shre-dder, […]

  7. Come On, Smalligan might flip the switch and show off his massive low post play, and sweet ninja moves on O.

    It could happen!

  8. Maybe next time

  9. Not to pat myself on the back, but…..let me pat myself on the back.

    Smalligan started and played until the 17:06 mark = 3 minutes. He then only played 2 minutes the rest of the game. 5 minutes total. It’s in the box score.

  10. He will flip the switch, or flip out sometime this year.

    Gaaaaagggghhhhhd. Its Ninjas.

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