Welcome, By-Godders, to the Monday edition of the Morning Shotgun/Throwdown, presented by Palmetto Ale.
Palmetto Ale is a fantastic micro-brew from Charleston, SC. The reason I picked Palmetto is because my entire family has, in the last 10-15 years, relocated to this city. In the middle of February, it doesn’t sound so bad. But, because jealously is not a trait of this site, I will instead become very spiteful and mean-spirited. And, because they read this site daily, let them know that I hope it rains for the next 6 months.
Unless, of course, I make it down for a visit, in which case the sun will shine for however long I can stand them. I certainly hope so, because if it rains and I’m stuck in the house all week, the headline “triple homicide” is not out of the question.
On that note, on to the Throwdown!
What You (May Have) Missed:
- R.I.P. Steve Slaton’s Career: Yesterday at the combine, Steve Slaton ran a relatively pedestrian 4.44. At 187 pounds and his best bet as a speed back, this just isn’t going to cut it. It’s becoming more and more obvious that Slaton has made a crucial mistake in his career. His hopes for a first-day draft selection have essentially completely evaporated.
- Owen Schmitt Lives: Just as Slaton disappointed, Owen Schmitt went out and simply got things done. 4.7 at the FB position is a solid, solid time. While there are some issues with his hips and running upright, he looks poised to be the #1 FB taken in the draft.
- The Oscars Were Predictable: Seriously, why even watch? The Coen brothers won everything, Daniel Day-Lewis wore a stupid tuxedo, and 4 hours of my life down the drain. Next year, I might just huff paint in my garage and hold my own Oscars — I would win every award, including Best Foreign Film in an upset.
Video (and Pictures) of Disinterest:
- Since nothing quite rivaled it this year, I figured I would give you this retread from 2007. It’s worth watching again. And remind me someday to tell you my story involving a fifth of Jim Beam, an ounce of peyote, and Hellen Mirren. I don’t want to spoil the end, but let’s just say I got crowned king that night.
- The Oscars: I highly recommend Heidi Klum, Anne Hathaway, and most importantly, Jennifer Garner. Luckily, Ben Affleck is nowhere in site.
What To Watch For:
- Marquette (-1) @ Villanova (7pm — ESPN): Can Villanova continue their role as giant killer? Thanks to my time machine, I know the answer is no. Unfortunately, my time machine also tells me I’m going to die broke and alone. Stupid time machine.
- Jon and Eight Plus 8 (9pm — TLC): Seriously, this is my worst nightmare. Both the 8 kids and the fact that they’re half-Asian. Because my wife is white and I’m white, meaning…oh shit. Well, see you in 20 years to life.
Note #1: I apologize for the overly murderous tone to this Shotgun/Throwdown.
Note #2: Not really.
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