Syracuse and Northwestern open their respective seasons this Saturday, playing a game that could end the very existence of college football. Here is a list of things I would rather do than watch that game, as if the post title wasn’t descriptive enough:
- Have sex with the girl on the right.
- Colonoscopy.
- Help Rich Rodriguez move.
- Accept Dave Wannstedt’s invitation for a mustache ride.
- Watch Ohio @ Wyoming.
- Actually care what MGoBlog has to say about Mountaineer football.
- Extra colonoscopy, just for fun.
- Naked pillow fight with Pam Ward.
- Let Pat McAfee kick me in the nuts.
- Watch Illinois State @ Marshall.
- Drive Rich Rodriguez to the airport.
- Intentionally expose myself to harmful carcinogens (though, it could be argued that Syracuse vs. Northwestern is a harmful carcinogen).
- Not have sex with Erin Andrews.
- Watch James Madison @ Duke.
- Water Rich Rodriguez’s plants while he’s on the road.
- Third colonoscopy, this time without any anesthetic.
- Enroll in classes at Pitt.
- Dry hump a 2×4 full of splinters.
- Commit seppuku, a Japanese form of ritualistic suicide by disembowelment.
- Attend a NAMBLA meeting.
- Poke my own eye out with my 1998 Insight Bowl commemorative lapel pin.
- Masturbate to Brazilian fart porn.
Please, feel free to add your own in the comments.
Filed under: good lord i hate your program, syracuse
The girl on the right is none other than News Channel 5 – Clarksburg’s Sports Reporter Sam Lordi, main squeeze of BlueGoldNews’ Chris Richardson.
http://www.wdtv.com/news/bios/sports/7942537.html
This post just got significantly more awkward, didn’t it?
“Big gulps, huh? Alright! … Well, see ya’ later!”
Yes…yes it did.
But even more hilarious, for sure.
Cougars on the prowl Meowwww!
I’ll have sex with the girl on the right.
She looks like a former gymnast or cheerleader to me.
hahaha BLOG FIGHT!
and to add to the list:
– Go shopping at the Kanawha mall.
– Stop at the Cross Lanes exit for anything other than gambling.
– Stop in Fairmont and not take a crap somewhere.
– Eat at the Ponderosa by the Hospital Downtown.
Ha! ….Yes…yes it did.
But even more hilarious, for sure.
I would like to add one too.
Ride in the passenger seat with a driver from Ohio on the interstate
or Jersey…..
Charley please don’t poke your eyes out . . we are depending on you to drive us around in our old age . . .
References to horrible Ohio drivers, the Kanawha Mall, and the wicked witch’s ugly sister all in the same post, I love this site. The only thing missing is sitting on Dickie V’s lap while he tells you all about Duke Basketball.
Even I am creeped out by the “siting on Dickie V’s lap” comment.
And I’d have sex with the girl on the right.