Rutgers v. UNC (Live Blog)

Rutgers do not screw up and make the Big East look bad on national TV. You should easily handle this bunch of Tar Heel pansys. They wear “Carolina” blue. Just go back to the days, when you were a kid, playing the game smear the queer.

I’m not PC get over it. We’re live after the jump…

<6:30> I’m going to get some cash for the Chinese food I just ordered. Have no fear, I will be back before the game begins. I’m also going to get some Yuengling. I have no clue why I just told everyone that but fuck it I’m open about my life.

<7:00> Erin Andrews is reporting live. THANK YOU LORD! Even if this game is ugly I will have a chubber looking at her boobs.

<7:15> My order of General Tso’s Chicken and Chicken Teriyaki Skewers has just been placed. I bet it takes over an hour for it to get here. Hopsing’s is on the clock…

<7:20> I hope Ohio State gets completely embarrassed Saturday night. I despise its fans, I despise its players, and I hate the Big Ten (11). WHAT THE FUCK is on Patrick Turner’s chin. Good lord that was an ugly ass beard.

<7:30> Megan Fox is a nice girl.

<7:31>I see a lot of jeans and long sleeve shirts. I forget that it is already getting cold up north. Damn, I love that it is still 90 degrees here in SC.

<7:35> 9/11 I remember. Hide your eyes if you don’t want to read something political. All the red tape needs to be cut through and someone needs to step up and make a damn decision about building the twin towers again. It has been seven years and there are still two huge holes in the ground. It is unacceptable that it is so hard to re-build the towers as a tribute to all those that lost their lives seven years ago today. The red tape lets the terrorists win. (stepping off my soapbox)

<7:45> Lou Holtzth needs to shut up. He is supposed to be impartial but slurps Notre Dame like they are putting up a statute of him in South Bend. It just isn’t right that he is allowed to hype them up so much when they are horrible. Did I just hear Schiano just say “There are no must wins”? Every game is a must win.

<7:50> Good intensity from Rutgers at the start. Three and out is a great way to start. Just move the ball on offense now.

<7:55> Did anyone else just see Beettlejuice in the crowd? Mike Teel, please throw the ball to the guys in red.

<8:00> I’ve never seen anyone with less than 3 letters on the back their jersey, until now. San san te is a pioneer.

<8:05> Chinese food is here and there is a problem with my student loan payments. I fucking hate BB&Fee online bill pay. That bank blows my left nut.

<8:20> Alright, I’m back. Geez, that was almost a huge fumble.

<8:25> HUGE sack to stop a power drive by UNC. That was big.

<8:30> Oh boy that is not what they needed. Mike Teel is not in rhythm anymore. Maybe you should try and run the ball a little bit. Chop that wood!

<8:35> MISSSSSS damn. Tied up at 3 but the RU D is looking pretty solid. Speaking of solid. My Chinese food from Hopsing’s was bangin. I will be hungry in an hour but I am stuffed now. Why would you wear viking helmets at home? I love the cowboys but I don’t dress up my dog like a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. That guy on the commercial is a dweeb.

<8:37> Thundersticks are stupid. If they ever pass them out at Mountaineer Field I will throw a shoe at everyone using them. The only noisemakers you need are a part of your body. Mouth, hands, feet, and butthole.

<8:40> My hatred stems from the Tire Bowl when UVA fans used them because they are too good to clap their prissy little hands. As I was leaving the stadium, extremely pissed off, a pair of UVA fans were using their thundersticks as airport type direction thingys. I proceeded to knock the sticks out of both those pussies hands and then hit them with the sticks. Both of those sissy UVA kids pissed their pants as my girlfriend drug me away by the collar of my shirt. I broke up with her because she wouldn’t let me get in a fight.

<8:45> Actually reading your comment I see that you said thunderstruck. I’m an idiot but my thoughts on thunderstruck are the same as thundersticks, STUPID. Anything Marshall does is dumb. FUCK cover someone. This may be a long night…

<8:50> JABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That kid may have the best name in football. Jabo Lovelace

<8:55> I’ve been trying kill as many brain cells as possible recently so all the good cells can take over. Survival of the fittest. Even though my best brains cells still are not much to write home about.

<9:00> Three points is better than nothing. Oh no, FUCK 7 points is better than 3. That was a good play call.

<9:01> Jersey roots. Dead plants, loud people, and trashy women. Rutgers University

<9:06> That guy has a better clothesline than Hulk Hogan

<9:09> That was a horrible pass and Fowler makes a great point about a senior not throwing that damn ball. Will Jabo be the starter after halftime? I think he should.

<9:10> How does that play get reviewed and Pat White’s fumble does not get one? Good lord

<9:30> Good lord Lou Holtzth is a complete moron. What the hell is he talking about. Don’t keep score? He needs to be in a retirement community with my grandma and not on ESPN pretending to be an expert. I just poked myself in the eye. SIGH

<9:35> I’m still shaking my head at those stupid comments by Holtzth. It is painful to watch that guy say it and spray it.

<9:40> Don’t panic just come out and play well. OH SHIT. What the hell was that you flipping idiot. GAME BLOUSES

<9:40> Erin Andrews should only be allowed to wear low cut blouses. Is it sad that I just said blouses twice in the span of thirty seconds? Is it sad that Mike Teel is worse than Brad Lewis? Sure throw it short of the marker again, good plan, seems to work really well.

<9:45> That is toughness from a QB and poor tackling by a defense. OOPPS another run for a huge game. Get ready to hear it from sports pundits tomorrow if Rutgers gets blown out. I actually witnessed a man, and I use that term loosely, using a ribbon thingy while I was at a unce unce club in Europe.


<9:55> I only use glow sticks while I’m up in da club.

<9:56> The Tarheels just made the Scarlet Knights bite the curb. This game is OVER but I’m not ready to pass out yet. Give me another 45 minutes, 4 more beers, and another eight ball and I will out like gay guy at a Ricky Martin concert.

<10:00> I’m totally against booing your team during the game. It is low class and doesn’t help them at all. TEEL IS HORRIBLE, FUCK YOU SUCK that guy was wide open.

<10:01> Throw it short of the first down marker is like double wrapping your johnson when sleeping with a prostitute. It is safe but it fails every time.

<10:04> That fucker is fast and the Rutgers defense couldn’t chop celery at a Whole Foods store.

10:06> If UNC scores again I may just DAG NAB IT this defense sucks. What I was about to say is if they score I may stop blogging at the end of the third quarter because Rutgers quit a lot time ago.

<10:10> I just tried to shotgun a bottle of Yuengling. I failed.

<10:15> If Rutgers is going to keep doing that I’m going to look at pictures of my girlfriend and beat it. I don’t do it near my computer anymore. I have bad aim. But I’ll wait one more series…

<10:20> They are calling Jesse Palmer a ferry. Good call

<10:30> Alright, I’m done.  Time for me to pass out.  Thanks to all those that joined me this evening for the Demolition in the Dump. We will be doing these live blogs from time to time so lie to your friends that it was at least decent and tell them to join in.  I’m out OH MY QUINCY WILSON JUST DESTROYED MERIWEATHER. I love that play.  I’m still out…


21 Responses

  1. Hmmmmmm Cream of sum yung gy

  2. Uh, sorry folks….but I think the Tarheels are gonna take this one. I hate to say it, but the Big East is about to look even worse. Hopefully, USF can pick us up tomorrow.

  3. I cant decide if i like thunderstruck during the breaks or not. Loved it in Varsity Blues. Seems a little played in this setting.


  4. I said “thunderstruck” its a song. Everyone knows thundersticks are for douche bags.

  5. yes, you are an idiot. Have another beer.

  6. I knew that UNC TD was coming… before the Heels snapped the ball, the stadium was blaring the opening to “For Whom the Bell Tolls”. For those with short memories, that’s what the bastard in charge of A&V at Mountaineer Field played before EVERY defensive snap in the Pitt game. I hate that motherfucker…

  7. I am guaranteeing a unc victory

  8. WOW, Im a prophet, 70 yard TD


  10. It ain’t football stheasthon unlesth Lou Holtzth isth on ESthPN sthpraying about the importancthe of purr-iff-ee-ul visthion.

  11. The Doctor is Out of his mind.

  12. the more times you say that a team hasnt won on the road in 20 years, the more likely they are to win on the road.

  13. was he you?

  14. this is what we are trying to avoid

  15. This just in: The State of Rutgers is not so good.

  16. How has Teel been the QB at Rutgers for 3 years? He’s god awful

  17. Rutgers receivers and running backs need to know where the fucking 1st down marker is….or learn to run north and south..

  18. Making UNC QB look like a heisman candidate! I’d make fun but…I guess we can’t talk

  19. “and the booze begin to build…” oh, he said “boos” not booze. way to peace out, ruts fans.

  20. I missed the game and the live blog, but I did hang out with 5th Year Senior’s girlfriend tonight.

  21. The Big East seriously sucks this year.

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