Rodriguez vs. Hitler — The Ultimate Showdown

 vs.

As we all probably know by now, Lou Holtz — the Patrick Henry of gameday shows — referenced Adolf Hitler when talking about Rich Rodriguez’s leadership skills.  I wish I could tell you more than that, but unfortunately, the comment made absolutely no sense in context.  Even so, we at WBGV believe that Holtz was on to something — he just needed us to take it a step further.  So we are.  Right…..now.

Title

Head Coach ———- Führer und Reichskanzler

(edge: Hitler)

 

Affiliations

University of Michigan ———- Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei NSDAP

(edge: Hitler)

Claim To Fame

Inventing the spread offense ———- Exterminating approximately 6,000,000 Jews across Europe

(edge: definitely Rodriguez)

Significant Other

Rita Rodriguez ———- Eva Braun

(edge: Hitler…Braun was hot)

Classic Blunder

Too many bubble screens ———- Engaging in a land war in Asia

(edge: Rodriguez)

Main Rival

Jim Tressel’s Ohio State ———- FDR’s/Truman’s America, Josef Stalin’s USSR

(edge: Hitler)

Ultimate Outlook

2-5 overall, probable first losing season at Michigan since 1967 ———- Lost war against Allied powers, committed suicide in personal bunker

(edge: tie)

So, as you can see, right now Hitler is beating Rodriguez.  But the season’s still young — Rodriguez has plenty of time to catch up.  Maybe if he loses to Michigan State at home this weekend. That would certainly be a step in the right direction.

Also, he might want to consider invading Ohio.  Though my guess is he’d keep running the same play over and over and never get past Toledo.

9 Responses

  1. Hair

    (Edge Hitler)

  2. Rod is making gains on Hitler in the Hair category as well. His scalp has made incredible gains over the last 5 years. Soon, he might grow it out and go all Chris Kaman on Hitler’s coiffure.

  3. Easy now, do not go around saying Eva Braun was hot.

  4. I meant to say his scalp has made incredible (Ro)gains over the last 5 years.

  5. I meant to say his scalp has made incredible (Ro)gains over the last 5 years.

  6. Here is what we need Thursday night: refs on our side

    Check this ref out:

  7. What was the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hilter?

    Michael Phelps knows how to finish a race.

  8. The forearm shiver. NICE!!

    And what the hell is wrong with Rogain … you young punks!!

  9. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia,” but only slightly less well known is this: “Never go in against Toledo when death is on the line!”

    Go Fightins.

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