Jeff Mullen Named Head Coach in Waiting

On the heels of Will Muschamp being named Mack Brown’s successor at Texas, West Virginia University has locked down it’s own assistant coaching star, Jeff Mullen.


“Jeff Mullen’s success at West Virginia has made him a candidate for every Junior High job that has opened in Monogalia County this fall, and he has even been considered as an equipment manager for some high school teams,” WVU Director of Athletics Ed Pastilong said.  “We couldn’t wait around any longer and let Jeff escape.”

“Therefore, we have named Jeff ‘Head Coach in Waiting’ and raised his salary to $200,000 a year.  Whenever Bill Stewart retires, and it will be at least 10 years – and I plan on being here for all of them – Jeff Mullen will be promoted to Head Coach.  I think it’s fairly evident he’s earned it.”

There are many similarities between the designations of Mullen and Muschamp.  First, Mack Brown and Bill Stewart are 57 and 56 years old respectively and both have national titles.  Brown’s in NCAA football, and Stewart’s in highest waistline while wearing a pair of slacks.  Second, both coaches have at least 6 years left on their contracts.

Also, Muschamp is a rising Defensive Coordinating star, with his Texas defense ranked 25th in points allowed per game, and is just 37 years old and has been a DC for 8 years.  While Mullen has done things with WVU’s offense that no one even dreamed of, with his WVU offense ranked 66th in points scored, and is just 40 years old and has been an offensive coordinator for 9 games.

“I’m so excited that West Virginia has made a commitment to me,” Mullen said.  “I think when the terms of this agreement are released everyone will see that I’m committed to West Virginia for a long time, and they’re committed to me.  I plan on being here as long as they’ll have me.”


11 Responses

  1. You forgot to include that WVU gave Mullen a six million dollar buyout…

  2. Jeff Mullens (adding “S” as intentional disrespect) doesn’t deserve a dime this season. This Ohio native knows about as much of the spread as OSU’s offensive coordinator, Jim Heacock…….and that’s not very much.

    I could LITERALLY come off of my couch and call a better game that this clown, incorporating zone blocking techniques by o-linemen, emphasizing increased pass protection w/ intense drills including the Steelers famed “backs on backers” drill in the week leading up to the game, and giving frowns and ass-chewin’s versus pats on the back and other grandad behavior.

  3. I’m beginning to get the impression that WVUColumbus may not be a big fan of this coaching staff.

  4. that’s the first post by Columbo that i’ve ever agreed with, except him getting off his couch. HA!

    I think Mullens has a touch of downs syndrom. just look at the picture, doesn’t he remind you of Corky?

  5. Columbus, are you going to the ville on saturday?

  6. On the eve of the OSU Michigan game, I thought that I’d remind you

    the Dead Schembechlers:

    I’m ahole and I approve this message.

  7. Please DO NOT scare us like that!

  8. I hope this is a joke…DEAR GOD!

  9. I will not be in Louisville Saturday. I plan on watching the circus, that is the WVU offense, from the comfy confines of my couch.

    Unfortunately people, I really believe we finish the year 6-6……Boy, I hope I’m wrong but I just don’t see anything that changes my mind at this point.

  10. All those Jr. High jobs in “Monogalia” County…is that a county where everyone regales when the general population gets mono? Hopefully Fast Eddie P will get mono and take extended medical leave.

  11. Oh well, so much for 6 and 6. Maybe Pat was pissed off, I hope he stays that way for a bit longer!

    Win out, and I think we get the Gator Bowl (unless they take the vanquished Irish).

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