If you’re like me, you have a hard time finding the perfect Christmas present for everyone on your list. Lucky for you, I have thought looked far and wide for the best presents of the holiday season. While you may not take my advice on coaching moves, I promise these gifts will be hits.
If your significant other always asks for Victoria’s Secret bras and lingerie then the Wine Rack is the perfect gift for her. Not only will it increase your woman’s breast size (her cups runneth over), it will also allow you to get wasted at Mountaineer games.
It is highly recommended for those mommas boys that wish they were still breast feeding.
Are you stumped about what to get your mother-in-law for X-mas? I would suggest the Bath and Body Works “Body Bag.” Not only does it cover her musk of Pall Mall’s and coffee, but it will also sends her the message that you would rather see her lying in a “body bag,” than your guest bedroom.
What is that you say? You don’t know what to get your girlfriend because your wife scours your credit card statement like a hyena looking for dead carcasses on the African plains.
Well my friends, I have the perfect gift idea for you. Simply promise her an upgrade to a 2-star hotel for your screw sessions and keep lying about leaving your wife soon. (It works) The sheets at the Friends Inn chafes your skin anyway.
Nope, that gift is not for your new born baby. Rather, it is my gift to all those that keep whining and crying about one 8-4 season and a top 20 recruiting class. Stick it in your pie-hole until the bowl game.
Filed under: 5th Year Senior