On Location: Morgantown, Ya’ Heard

So there’s a vicious rumor going around town that there’s a game tomorrow. 

I didn’t want to believe it.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s still baseball season.  Or women’s soccer season.  To be honest with you, I’m still satisfied with my lingering Olympics high.  That synchronized diving really did it for me.  I felt that sport in my naughty place(s).

But, either way, I am in Morgantown.  If there’s a football game tomorrow, so be it.

Please Remember To Celebrate Responsibly

With college football season now just hours away, I though this the best time for a public service announcement.

There will be a lot of big wins this season, and at times, you may feel yourself wanting to celebrate. Like, a lot. Like with tons of booze, a can of gasoline, and a box of matches. To that, I say. “Go nuts!” Have fun. You’re young and you only live once, blah, blah, blah, etc. Just don’t burn my couch.

But, just as there will be big wins, there will also be big losses. Appalachian State’s win over Michigan Michigan’s loss to Appalachian State last year immediately comes to mind. As does Utah’s victory over Michigan Michigan’s crushing defeat to Utah this Saturday (remember, I can see the future). At these points, instead of celebrating, it might seem more appropriate to gently masturbate while sobbing in the public dorm shower. To that, I say “No!” And the University of Michigan agrees with me.

So no matter what happens this year — whether there be wins (see: WVU) or losses (see: Michigan) — just be responsible. Because couch fires are eventually extinguished, but semen related costs are forever.

[Blog of Hilarity — thanks to voodoostick]

T MINUS TWO WEEKS!!!

As Bob Costas once said, “You’re excited? Feel these nipples!”

Karma Can Be A Bitch

Cam Saddler

There was news yesterday that heralded Shitt recruit Cam Saddler tore his ACL during a non-contact drill. This is a big blow to a team that expected him contribute as a true freshman.

While some of you may be smiling because Saddler cheered for Pitt during his official visit to Morgantown last year. You should wipe that smile off your damn face. It is never appropriate to cheer or root for a kid to get injured. Remember, karma is a bitch and it could happen to a guy on our team too.

Charley and I had an infamous incident in which we almost caused a fight at Kegler’s after some idiot cheered when Micheal Bush broke his leg against Kentucky in ’06. I for one hope Saddler fully recovers, makes it back for next years Backyard Brawl at Mountaineer Field, and gets his head taken off when catching a pass over the middle.  That, would be the appropriate form of payback.

Don’t be an asshole and cheer when opposing players get injured. If you cheer near me when an opposing player gets hut, expect a shoe to the side of the face.  (stepping off soapbox)

Necessary Roughness Redux

Starring Pat Liebig in the role of Scott Bakula.

As we all know by now, Pat Liebig was granted his sixth year of eligibility.  It only took two months for the NCAA to decide that it’s OK to return home to take care of a sick parent.  Bravo, NCAA.  Let me know how it feels to be waaaaay out there on that limb.

Liebig will provide an instant boost to the defensive line, most likely as a starter or first-off-the-bench player.  With all the question marks surrounding our defense, this decision came as a major relief.

Now if we could just find someone to play Kathy Ireland.  Though, judging by her IMDB page, Kathy Ireland isn’t doing too much, so she’s probably available.

The Mostest Definingest Game Of The Season

Contrary to popular belief (see: SEC fans), there are a lot of tough games on this year’s schedule. The Big East has transformed itself into a deep conference where no game is an automatic win (exception: any Greg Robinson coached team). But beyond the conference slate, WVU faces two very tough non-conference tests: Colorado and Auburn (maybe three, if you count ECU…but I’m not).

Most of the focus has been given to the Auburn game. It’s easy to see why: two marquee national powers doing battle in the middle of October on national television. Plus it’s the holy-fucking-shit SEC, a conference so strong it’s trying to replace the NFC (please, please, note the sense of sarcasm). But maybe Auburn isn’t the game we should be most worried about.

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25 Days!

atackle

In case you didn’t know, there are only 25 days until WVU’s opening kick-off against Nova. So get ready for our Mountaineers to lay it on the line, strain, and “atackle” on August 30. If you need some action to tide you over until then, here are some videos I have watched over and over in the offseason…

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