Rutgers v. UNC (Live Blog)

Rutgers do not screw up and make the Big East look bad on national TV. You should easily handle this bunch of Tar Heel pansys. They wear “Carolina” blue. Just go back to the days, when you were a kid, playing the game smear the queer.

I’m not PC get over it. We’re live after the jump…

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The Snarkiest MNC Live Blog In History

Anyone can live blog the National Championship. Most will try, too. But it takes a true cynic, however, to do it as snarkily (note: may or may not be a word) as I plan on doing it. Trust me, I sincerely promise to sarcastically hate on everything and everyone. Things might get a little uncomfortable, even, but believe me when I say that will not stop me. The snark shall continue.

So, this is your heads up. Be sure to tune in around game time as I crack open my first beer and let all my pent up frustration out on two totally undeserving teams, a terrible officiating crew, and THom Brennaman. See, it’s started already.

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Sugar Bowl: Drinking and Blogging

vs.

Yes, that’s right, we’re going to live-blog the Sugar Bowl. Why? Why the hell not?

Actually, it’s because we have visions of grandeur for those spunky Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors. Or as I will refer to them for the rest of the evening, the Rainbows. That old school logo would make George Michael proud.

Plus, if Hawai’i (good lord, that stray apostrophe is annoying to type every time) makes this a game, we’ll get to see a lot more faces like this one:

So, sit back, pour yourself a beer or four, and enjoy the Sugar Bowl. We’ll be here to hold your hand the entire game, assuming we don’t pass out first.

8:25 — What have we already learned? Herschel Walker would whoop Knowshon Moreno’s ass, Fran Tarkenton looks suspiciously like a less-kept Archie Manning, and Hawai’i has no chance against this bigger, stronger, better endowed Georgia team. So, of course, the Rainbows will win.

8:33 — If you name your trumpet trombone band “Bonerama,” you can expect the full support of WBGV. Well done sirs, well done.

8:38 — Don’t take this the wrong way, but Jimmy Johnson’s hair makes me erect.

*** The live-blog continues after the jump….

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Razorback Rampage!

5:30 I wanted to start this earlier but my internet has been terrible all day. 21-21 This could be big. Charley is on a flight back to WV right now, and is pumped about the score. I’m keeping him updated by text message, I hope his phone doesn’t mess up the planes computer junk.

5:35 Did anyone else notice that during the halftime show Spencer Tillman said the name on our jersey could get us in BCS championship game over Missouri? I thought everyone hated us and disrespected WVU. That may just be ESPN but we may not need to rely on our tradition if ar-Kansas can push through.

A friend that has a wedding on WVU football Saturday is no friend of mine.

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We Need Upsets!

I have had a few brews but lets get these games going. I am terrible at picking college football games. I apologize for subjecting you all to my horrendous picks.

4:55 I hate Saban but I hope ‘Bama puts a hurting on LSU. ROLL TIDE

Hey Tigers
Hey Tigers
We just beat the hell outta you!
Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer
Give ’em hell Alabama

5:05 Sometimes I wish I had two last names like John Parker Wilson. Also, how does the SEC have so many awesome names, such as Early Doucet.

5:12 In this game we get to see the endangered species of white running-backius, Jacob Hester. Enjoy this moment because we may never see it again.

5:17 Navy just scored to go up on the Golden Domers. Now they go for 2 and THEY GOT IT….YES

5:25 I don’t know about you but I like the preppy look at SEC football games. I would love to see girls in Gold and Blue sun-dresses at WVU football games. Granted, it would be hard to do in Morgantown for late season games because of the weather, but the girls would still look hot. I don’t like the stupid pom-pom tradition. Clap your hands and make some noise.

Glen Dorsey just went down again but this time it was on a football play and not a dirty chop block.

5:30 LSU touchdown and Notre Dame converts a 4th and 14 in the span of 30 seconds. I don’t like the way this is going folks.

5:35 Golden Domers just stuck it in the end-zone but there is 3:25 left on the clock. Navy doesn’t have a quick strike offense but they could move it down the field with good clock management. I wouldn’t mind seeing OOOOVERTIME.

Glenn Dorsey needs to stay off the field until that knee properly heals. John Paker Wilson just got decapitated.

5:40 Les Miles has balls the size of the state of Alabama. Flynn wins the Oscar for a great acting performance.

RANDOM thought: I hope UConn wins out so GameDay will come to Morgantown.

5:52 The ref in LSU game has psycho eyes and makes me feel like he is peering into my soul. Notre Dame just blew a chance for the lead and now it is headed to overtime in Southbend.

6:00 Cincy is sticking it to USF and they just forced another turnover. The Bearcats may be a tougher game than I thought. They have a quick D that just forces turnovers. Don’t worry I think we’ll be alright and win by at least 2 TD’s.

6:10 I just tried to win free Chic-Fil’A at www.40winners.com but it was unsuccessful. If I got free Chic-Fil’A for a year I would be a fatass.

I hate Notre Dame.

6:15 LSU also has a white safety this is amazing. Could you just read his mind when DJ Hall caught the ball, “Damn, I’m white I can’t catch this guy.”

6:30 Is there anything that Paul “Bear” Bryant hasn’t done in the SEC?

Big 3rd and 10 in the Notre Dame game I hope the Midshipmen convert because I don’t trust their kicker. KICK IS GOOD

INTERCEPTION inside the 10 for ‘Bama DANG this is exciting…I have to pee and I almost pissed my pants.

6:35 Navy is going to get screwed…I hate Notre Dame

6:40 Just in time for the ASU – Oregon game Navy beats Notre Dame. Navy celebrates like we just bombed Iran! Big win for the Naval Academy…THANK YOU!

6:50 I think that ref just made Hester head-butt Jackson with his psycho eyes.

7:00 That was a great half of football. ‘Bama has the momentum and will hopefully Roll in the second half.

MIIIIchigan scored and needs to hold on defense, something they haven’t done so far this year, to get the W. I’m cheering for Michigan.

7:08 Hail to the Victors! Did anyone just see Chad Henne bust ass running to the locker room? What a D-bag.

7:13 Rudy Carpenter and the Devils can’t get too far behind, no matter how much the outscore opponents in the second half. Oregon is a good team that will just keep pilling it on. Poke’em Sun Devils!

7:15 I think Oregon has the only fans in the nation that can yell OOOOOOOO on 3rd down and have it actually mean something. That penalty just killed State.

Also the worst sign in history thanking ESPN for coverage? Idiots

7:25 I think Mike Patrick is either wearing his retainer or eating in the booth. Oregon is going to dominate all game long.

Also, my dog Major almost caught a rabbit when she went out to pee.

7:35 Glenn Dorsey is a big man and could dominate in the NFL. He has been getting double teamed all day but still makes it to the quarterback. If I had to pick one guy in NCAA to add to our roster it would either be him or Mario Manningham from Michigan.

I’m surprised Mike Patrick hasn’t referred to Britney Spears yet in the Oregon game. He and I both have an unhealthy obsession with that trashy ho.

7:41 I don’t know why but that TD by ASU made me think of this, but remember when Oregon unveiled the new Duck mascot?

I guess they only wanted to be known for ugly uniforms and not an ugly mascot.

7:47 That was a great finish to the USF – Cincy game. But like the girls tell Grothe all the time, “You came up a little too short.”

7:56 These games are so back and forth it is hard to watch more than one at a time. Each play is so important, you don’t want to miss anything. I found a glamor shot of the ref in the ‘Bama game

I can’t see the UConn game either but I’m rooting for the Huskies.

8:03 HUGE score by the Tide to go up by 10 and that guy has his shirt off. Please, let a souther bell be shown next with her dress around her ankles….dang no luck. Maybe next time.

8:14 What the hell is ASU doing? They should have scored a TD and then missed the field goal, GEEZ. They are a second half team so I hope they can turn it on and win this bitch.

Come on Huskies.

8:22 Watch the fake!

8:23 49 yard field goal that stayed true the whole way. We got a ball game folks.

8:31 What are they talking about both points of the ball hit the ground. Not a catch. Sometimes I wonder what the hell these announcers are watching.

8:35 I swear some fans will boo at anything. Booing the previous spot of the ball is obvious. Some people are such homers it makes me want to poke my eyes out.

WVU is the best team in the nation by FAR.

8:43 Now that is what I call a change of momentum. 4th and inches to down by 7. I know I will get crushed for this, but I really love SEC football.

I’m taking about a 20 minute break to eat my Chinese food. Gotta love the General Tso’s chicken! I’ll be back.

9:21 A little longer than 20 minutes but I had to enjoy it. ‘Bama blew it, Oregon is running away with their game, and it doesn’t look like it is raining at BC.

Xavier Lee being suspended for this game is the best thing to happen to FSU in a while.

9:26 I can’t believe they called that a touchdown. It looked pretty clear to me that the tip of that ball was on the ground the whole time. Also, the way the FSU receiver came up makes me think that he knows he missed that one.

9:33 I hope the refs in the Oregon game are wearing pink whistles for breast cancer and not because they are a little fruity. Not that theres anything wrong with that.

If Dixon is hurt that could be bad things for Oregon but good for us.

9:43 The lack of upsets this weekend will likely spell the end of WVU’s national title hopes. Even though BC will likely fall to FSU tonight we needed LSU or Oregon to go down.

Kansas will likely jump us in the standings to keep WVU at 7 in the BCS, unless BC does get beat then we are up to 6.

10:00 ASU can’t win a game turning the ball over at critical junctures. Damn, after I wrote them off I thought they would prove me wrong. I’m calling it quits for the evening and heading downtown.

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My Picks to Click


If I’m not to drunk at 5 I will be doing a live blog for the LSU – Bama, and Oregon – Arizona State games. I’ve got two TV’s setup in the basement, and ready for a great day of college football. Looking into the crystal ball I see at least one upset today.

If you come here for your Saturday picks, I think you’re drunk. Here is what I’m feeling:

Wisconsin + 16 at tOSU
Nebraska +20 at Kansas
FSU + 7 at BC (I’m also inclined to take the under at 41 because it is going to be torrential downpour.)
Washington -3 at Stanford
Notre Dame -3 vs Navy

I just saw a WVU flag way in the back of College GameDay in Oregon.

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Pitt v. Navy Live!


To Save Dave, we need this lousy Pitt football team to pull out a victory tonight over Navy. I know it isn’t looking good but don’t give up hope we will succeed in our mission to keep Dave at Pitt and guarantee WVU at least one victory a year.

7:52 Curtis Martin is at the game HOORAY but the sad thing is that he might be the fastest player on the Pitt sideline tonight. Also, there may be more people at my house than at this game. Pitt football is in a sad state of affairs.

7:56 Seeing Roger Staubach on the sidelines gives me the perfect opportunity to say — How ‘Bout them Cowboys! They are 5 – 0 and ready for the shoot-out this Sunday against the Pats.

8:00 It’s that time EAT SHIT PITT, EAT SHIT PITT…oh wait SAVE DAVE, SAVE DAVE…

8:01 Severe Weather Advisory for Heinz Field! 100% chance of spit and slobber coming from the Press Box. “Thith ith going to be a interething.”

8:06 I want to say, “Thank You” to the Navy Midshipmen. They give their all on the field and put their lives on the line, once they graduate, for our freedom. THANKS

8:10 Pat Bostick gives this team the best chance to win. Too bad it took a couple injuries for Wanstache to realize this. GREAT JOB busted play already…this could be a hard game to watch.

8:15 First punt of the night and now we get to see Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada. WOW big play this may be the end of Save Dave. If they trail at half Wanstedt may not be the coach for the second half.

8:18 Pitt just needs to run faster! TOUCHDOWN Navy

8:23 By the end of the game McCoy/Dorsett may be a Heisman frontrunner in the eyes of Holtz. Great 13 yard pass on a 3rd and 14. Good call on 4th and 1.

8:28 I think Slaton and White are the only two players in the Big East that have a chance at even getting invited to the Heisman ceremony. Edit the commercial with some highlights or something.

8:30 In the Heinz Red Zone and Pitt has scored a huge TD. Lou just thought the game was over…it is way past his bedtime.

8:35 Come on and give me a Sonic commercial. I love those two goof-balls. Primanti Bros. is WAY overrated.

8:40 I was hoping Lou’s dentures were going to fall out. Now that would’ve been good TV.

8:41 Rece Davis is going to use Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada full name all night just to show off.

8:46 Going for it here is a decision Dave would make. If he does get fired I hope Pitt hires Paul Johnson.

8:52 The spot of the ball is the toughest play to review. If this call gets overturned the fix is in and the Save Dave campaign has caught on.

8:54 If Pitt plays this well against us we will score 84 points. 14 – 7 Navy and Dave just called for a re-fluff of his mustache.

9:00 Bostick just looked like a freshman girl, who was dressed like a whore, running to Chaser’s on a cold winter night in Morgantown.

9:04 Holtz should be fined $10,000 every time he brings up Notre Dame. It just gets annoying you pruney old man.

9:10 Mark May doesn’t piss me off as much as he once did but he went to Pitt so I still don’t like him. This Pitt D is full of holes and just not very good.

9:13 I thought Besong was going to Barrett Green that guy.

9:16 There was a Wolverine about to attack the Midshipmen in Assembly Hall. 21 – 14

9:21 If were a cornerback and anyone had hair hanging over their name I would pull it as much as possible. Is Curtis Martin HIGH he just said that Pittsburgh was crazy about the Panthers. They must’ve been committed because they aren’t at the damn game.

9:27 WHAT Lou is about to BITE Mark May or should I say GUM Mark May. Touchdown Pitt…I should’ve taken the over.

9:30 I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I agree with Lou. All college stadiums should be on campus to make it easy on the students. Then again if it is off-campus they can serve beer. Ehh, I can always sneak a flask in so on campus is better.

9:32 Charley West will take over for me at the start of Halftime. I have to spend quality time with my lady friend. It will take about a minute and thirty seconds, so I should be back later.

9:36 Paul Johnson just said a curse word. I bet those guys have never been yelled at before. God Speed Dave

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Charley West at the helm. This live blog is either going to get much better or much drunker. Bet on both. Bitches.

Let’s get this fucking show on the road.

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9:54 — If two teams score 42 points in a half and no one is there to see it, does it actually happen? If you came up with an answer for that, you’re probably high on peyote.

9:58 — Nothing like fireworks and a giant American flag to get 12,467 fans off their butts and cheering.

10:00 — Is Lou Holtz a hobbit? Anyone?

10:03 — What’s the over/under on WVU’s team score this year against Pitt? 100? 10,000? 123 x 10^7? Infinity?

10:07 — Do you think Reece Davis, working with both Lou Holtz and Mark May, cuts himself at night just to feel alive?

10:17 — This isn’t a bad game, but I’m hating every second of it.

10:21 — Navy runs the same play on every single play and I’m already more impressed with their gameplan than most Mountaineer games.

10:24 — How much do you think WBGV could get for an exclusive story revealing that tonight’s referee is actually an evil robot? Maybe he’s not even evil, just evil. Though, in my experience, all robots I’ve ever met have had murderous tendencies.

10:28 — Coming soon, the newest hit from the creators of Frasier, “Lou Eating A Sandwich.”

10:33 — FG Pitt. 20,000 fans rejoice…..45,000 fans not in attendance don’t give a shit.

10:39 — Pitt’s defense is doing it’s best impression of air.

10:44 — Quick puzzle: Pitt is AWF_L.

10:56 — I really have to piss, but I’m supposed to keep blogging. If I keep blogging and I don’t go piss, maybe I’ll die. Ahhh, sweet release from this game.

11:08 — Kind of a big play coming up. I’m guessing they call the barking dog play – except in football.

11:17 — Ballsy, ballsy call. Surely this is not the Dave Wannstedt we know and love. It must be….an IMPOSTER!

11:21 — Why go for it the first time and not the second? Glad to have the same lovable Dave Wannstedt back in my life.

11:40 — As much as I hate Pitt, this is a great game. No defense. All offense.

11:48 — If my memory serves me, the Navy has fighter bombers. Surely this is enough to overcome annoying Panther growls.

11:52 — Pitt’s going to win this game….

11:55 — Nevermind.

12:00 — I’m not going to lie, the “Save Dave” campaign is in trouble. Not all the tea in China could save this clown. Seriously, if you put a grapefruit on the sideline and strapped a headset to him, even he wouldn’t have called a fade pass to end the game. And in a pinch, the grapefruit is delicious and refreshing. What does Wannstedt have to offer? A mustache? Whatever.

12:04 — “Save Dave” merchandise will be on closeout starting tomorrow.

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