Note #1: This is Steve Kragthorpe’s actual diary. We can’t control the fact that he has a sailor’s mouth and is misogynistic towards women. We can only love him for it.
Woah, woah, WOAH! Back the fuck up, holmes.
They tell me I’ve taken a top 10 program and made them irrelevant in 9 months. How the hell did that happen? I must’ve blacked out for about, say, the entire 2007 season. That’s what I get for eating nothing but ‘shrooms and Fruity Pebbles for 4 months.
Even Lee Corso couldn’t do that. When you think about, it’s pretty impressive. Hell, with our roster, even Greg Robinson could probably close his eyes and win 6 games. Not The Krag. The way I see it, if you’re going to fuck up, might as well fuck up right. And I fucked up right.
I mean, have you seen the steaming pile of shit I called a recruiting class? A bunch of 2 and 3 star nobodies. Most of them probably couldn’t find their dicks with both hands and a flash light. I’ve never even heard of half of them. Towards the end, we just started cold-calling high school coaches. Apparently, they sent the retarded kids. They probably don’t even know they have dicks.
Seriously, look at that list. Rock Keys? Shit, I just made him up. Used a name I saw in a porn a few years ago. Damn, what an awesome name – Rock Keys. One minute he was a pizza delivery guy, the next minute he was plowing half a sorority. To be honest with you, he’s my fucking hero. Plus he runs a 3.8 second 40 and has a 57 inch vertical, so he’s a helluva ballplayer. Ha, I said ballplayer, that’s funny.
At least he could find his dick.
Filed under: the krag