Cleaning Out The Cobwebs

Now that my mom has cleaned up the Halloween decorations from my room, I figured I should clean out some thoughts and anger that have cluttered my mind. If you think Halloween movies are scary, just read on about the thoughts that randomly come into my head during the day.

Now For Something Completely Different

We don’t normally do this but it seems that we have a lot of fortune tellers around predicting total calamity recently. This is your chance to prove your mystical powers. The compound question is simple. How will the game play out and what is the final score?

As I look into my crystal ball this is what I see…

Ways To Stop Looking Stewpid

Many of you have complained over the past few weeks that our coach looks like and actually is a bumbling idiot that needs to be fired. Since I do not agree that he needs to be fired, I am offering HCBS some free advice. If he follows these easily implemented suggestions he will improve his Stewpid image, have porcelain venires, and rock hard abs.

Actually, he will only improve his image but the other two would help with the ladies and recruits.

I Like Swimming With Bowlegged Women

I’ve only been gone a couple weeks and Mountaineer athletics have seemingly gone down the pooper. What the hell are y’all doing up there? Don’t make me come back up there and straighten you guys out.

Huggins does a face plant at the Charlotte airport. Keith Dewitt pulls his commitment from the 2009 class. Fraud did not assume the fetal position and cry after being questioned by WVU lawyers.

Everyone Fucking Panic!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Now For Something Completely Different

Big Recruit Out of Virginia:

Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s Me, Robert Goulet

Ladies and gentlemen, there is an air of sadness here at WBGV. Robert Goulet, one of our idols, a trained voiceman in the most traditional of senses, has passed away. While the lack of Internet yesterday kept us from paying tribute then, we do so now.

We’ll miss you Robert. Goulet!

Wait, that was Will Ferrell? Oh. He’s pretty young, but I guess we’ll have to pay tribute to him, too, when he dies.

I Got Drunk Yesterday

Seriously, really, aggressively drunk. It was fun. But then today, I pay. So, when I fully recover tomorrow morning, there shall be posts. Expect a recap of the Rutgers game and hot chicks. But for now, this is the best I can do:

Soulja Boy Is Dead

Long live __________?

Soulja Boy is one of the most annoying songs ever to grace this fine planet. The accompanying dance? Even worse. That’s why I am jumping on the anti-Soulja Boy bandwagon and trying to do something about it. And don’t give me any of that racist crap. My wife and I gave money to Colin Powell!

OK, so we need to find a replacement. Remember, we need to keep the dance fresh and hip. That way, Devin Hester will do it.

Here is my own humble suggestion…your own suggestions in the comments:

Rutgers Has a Knight Mascot

Kentuckians Talk Slow

Ladies and gentlemen, the Secretary Of Agriculture.

Ladies and gentlemen, the orange crop estimates for the next year. After calculating the estimates from various orange producing states, we have concluded the following: The cold winter has apparently not affected the orange harvest. Consumers can expect orange juice prices to fall…

VEGAS LOVES WVU

Nobody is smarter than Las Vegas when it comes to understanding the game of football. As you know, the point of the lines is to drive the betting action to a 50-50 split. To make this happen, Vegas has demonstrated that WVU is a great football team. Case in point:

WVU @ South Florida
Line: WVU -6

South Florida @ Rutgers
Line: South Florida -2

WVU @ Rutgers
Line: -6

Now, I understand the Rutgers/USF game was at night, but Vegas is showing WVU a lot of respect with this line Saturday. Basically saying the Mountaineers are the best team in the Big East. Now, they have to go out and prove it.

Was this post necessary or even helpful? No, probably not. But, I gotta do something to pass the time till Saturday at Noon.

Editor’s Note: Are we also 10 points better than Kentucky? Case in point:

Mississippi State @ WVU last week: +24.5
Mississippi State @ Kentucky this week: +13.5

Picture > 1,000 Words

[thanks to John, via The Wizard of Odds, for the tip]

Post of Vindiction

I am an Indians fan. Needless to say, last night (and the past 3 games) have not been an especially happy time for me. To get the hate and despair out of my system, I have decided to take it out on you guys — the loyal WBGV reader. Here’s why:

1. This is a great video;
2. This is the last you’ll hear about my Indians fan status for at least 6 months; and
3. Even if you hate soccer, just know that I feel much worse today about the Indians than you do about watching this video. So tough it out. Pussy.