SmokingMusket.com is LIVE!

Please, direct your browsers to the new site…

http://www.smokingmusket.com

The Countdown Is Coming To A Close

We’re just a weekend away from making the big move over to The Smoking Musket.

Check back Monday.

Best Of WBGV: OOOOOOOOO W-V-U (clap) FIRST DOWN!!

I’ve heard through the grape vine that last night during HCBS Call-In Show that there was a mention of MY idea to change the First Down cheer. I would like to congratulate myself for being a true revolutionary. I feel as if I was molded in the image of the greatest revolutionary in American history, Hugh Hefner.

I give you boobs, ass, and great articles, just like Hef. So help me and the other revolutionaries out there to change the first down cheer. It is simple and I don’t even care if you are too drunk to point in the right direction, just do this…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO W-V-U (clap) First Down

If people around you are not receptive to this change, physically force them to do this cheer by placing your hand on their throat until they listen.  See, there is a simple violent solution to every problem

Best Of WBGV: Fraud Offers WVU $1.5 Million And A Box Of Envelopes

According to ESPN, Rodriguez has offered to pay WVU $1.5 million for breaching a contract that calls for $4 million in liquidated damages. I think I’m a high enough ranking official within WVU’s Athletic Department to say, “HAHAHAHA How ’bout you just pay $4 million bitch.”

These Ladies Give Me Hand Cramps

These are my favorite women.

In 2002, I Hit Ronald Blackshear In The Head…

…with a nerf basketball that I launched onto the court after a devastating OT loss.

The year before, I obtained his cell-phone number and posted it on a sign at the game. And we called it about a thousand times.

That same year, J.R. VanHoose, during pre-game warmups, walked over to me in the front row of the student section, grabbed my sign and tore it up. Right in front of me. What did that sign read? Nothing too bad, just poking fun at a recent DUI arrest.

Tamar Slay
FG: 48%
FT: 86%
BAC: .12

During the infamous “Fire Drill Game,” I literally had to restrain my shit-faced friend in the Civic Center tunnel from punching Greg White in the face.

Needless to say, I’ve had some interesting moments during the Capital Classic. But one fact remains: I hate Marshall, and very little gives me more pleasure than watching yet another dejected Herd crowd leave the Civic Center each year.

Can’t wait….see you guys inside.

Best of WBGV: Hump: I Like It, I Love It, I Want Some More Of It

I love boobs. I love butts. Here are some pictures featuring both and some up the skirt action.

Best of WBGV: Hump Day: NFL Cheerleaders Edition

This was our most popular hump day post ever. Who the hell cares when it originally ran, but there are more to come. You can also expect an original hump day towards the end of the day that I think everyone will enjoy.

I spent about 20 minutes trying to come up with a good connection between WBGV, hump day, and NFL cheerleaders. After awhile, the bulge in my pants simply became too unbearable and I gave up.

Best of WBGV: The Kragthorpe Diaries

Note: This was the first installment of The Kragthorpe Diaries, originally “printed” September 26, 2007 — long before anyone started reading this site.  Since then, Kragthorpe has lost to Syracuse (twice), Kentucky (twice), and had Rutgers put up 63 measly points.  Needless to say, The Krag’s life has gotten worse.

Oh. Shit.

I am so completely fucked. Utterly, totally, didn’t have the courtesy of a reach-around fucked.

It all looked so rosy. Top 10 program. Orange Bowl champion. How could I screw this up? I couldn’t. No way. I single-handedly turned Tulsa around. Tulsa for fuck’s sake. You think anyone wants to go to Tulsa? Shit no. But there I was, winning games and making Steve Kragthorpe a household name.

Everybody wanted a piece of The Krag. Programs wanted me. Schools across the country were throwing money at me. Taking me to expensive restaurants. Showering me with gifts. Setting me up with hot ass ladies. Sure I’m married, but not when I’m on the road. On the road, The Krag has to get him some split-tail, you know what I’m saying? As long as that shit stays on the DL, The Krag is all good.

Best Of WBGV: I’m Gonna Come At You Like A Spider Monkey!

Note: This piece originally ran on January, 4, 2008, after our amazing bowl win against Oklahoma. The fact that I still believe almost every word of this probably makes a lot of you very mad. BITE ME

When I got a text around 5:30 a.m. yesterday morning stating that Head Coach Bill Stewart, “HCBS”, got the job I was asleep. When I woke up and could fully comprehend what this meant, I smacked myself in the forehead. The initial reaction was, “Are Garrison and Pastilong on their periods?” Because this seemed like an emotional hire that didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

While I may be known for flipping out, about once every hour, I decided to stop and really think about HCBS. It was a hell of a game but can he get it done for an entire season? Does he have enough experience and wherewithal to handle everything being a head coach at a big school entails? Why was his record so bad at VMI?

Best Of WBGV: WVU To Leave Big EAST…

Note: This piece originally ran on December 26, 2007, during the heart of our fantastically inept coaching search.  The fact that half our readers thought it was real doesn’t say a lot about that half of our readers.

MORGANTOWN, West Virginia — In a stunning announcement late Wednesday, West Virginia University President Mike Garrison announced that the school would leave the Big East Conference, effective August 1, 2008.

Allow Myself To Introduce….Myself

Usually, when there’s a lack of posts on this website, it’s merely us being lazy. Or hungover. Or both.

But this time, we have a legitimate excuse. Over the past few months, we have been working on starting a new chapter in our blog lives. That work, along with countless hours from the guys over at SBNation, have given us a new and improved blog about Mountaineer sports. A blog so good, we hope, that it deserves a new name:

The Smoking Musket.

The new platform will allow us a lot more options as far as providing the best (and lewdest) content of Mountaineer shenanigans on the internet. More live blogs, better recruiting updates, and a better organization — not to mention more poon — should make you, the readers, happy campers.

While the site won’t be operational for another week, we wanted to go ahead and build momentum into the move so we hit the ground running on Monday. For the rest of this week, we’ll be running the “Best of WBGV,” remembering fondly some of our best posts over the past 18 months. That will give us a chance to fine-tune the new site and blow y’all’s minds next Monday.

Get ready…

…and just because I love you guys…

[The new address will be http://www.smokingmusket.com .  No need to start transitioning your bookmarks yet, as it won’t be active for another week.  And come next Monday, we’ll link over from this site.  So again, no worries.]

Locked and Loaded

Like a sunrise over the mountains that burns off the morning fog to reveal West Virginia’s great beauty, the authors of this site will reveal something huge for Mountaineer fans everywhere on Monday morning.

Prepare yourself…

See Joe Dunk!

Could Joe Alexander become the NBA version of Peyton Manning?

See Joe Dunk

Insert UConn Pun Here

No, UConn not.  Yes, UConn.  UConn do it.  We get it headline writers, UConn sounds very similar to “you can.”  Very clever. 

Anyway you put it though, your 22nd ranked West Virginia Mountaineers play host to cancer-prone Jim Calhoun and his Connecticut Huskies tonight.  May we beat them like rented mule.  Or a woman who talks.

“Tonight we play UConn.  Tonight, we beat UConn.” – Bud Kilmer